science

"Administratium"

A major research institution recently announced the
discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element
has been
tentatively named Administratium.

Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy
neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called
morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to
take over four
days to complete when it would normally take less than a
second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it
does not decay
but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion
of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons
exchange
places. In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases
over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to
become
neutrons, forming isodopes.

This moron-promoting characteristic has led some
scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity
in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred
to as Critical
Morass.

You'll know it when you see it.

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